THIS IS INSANITY: LET'S GO!

Guys, it's official.

I bought into a hokey fitness routine.

Let me be clear: I would never have gotten these videos for myself, but the boyfriend is intent on "getting vascular" by "attacking the rack." Since a few of his friends were doing this back home, he also decided to get in on the action -- the Insanity action.

Being the supportive girlfriend, I, of course, was not going to allow the BF to suffer alone *cough, cough*. By that, I mean I really, really want to show him up in all the routines since I am clearly the bigger and stronger one in the relationship. And future doctors should be fit, right?

We are now in week 2 of the program, and my calves are finally becoming normal again. For a while there, I was having some trouble walking because of the swelling and pain. Also, I was thinking of doing a before and after photo, but I'm way too embarrassed (and pragmatic) to post half-naked pictures of myself on the internet.

Let it suffice to say that the abs are not there yet.

I'll let you know in 52 days.

How a Condom is like a Lung; or: Introduction to the Respiratory System

Hi again, to all of you that read my blog. I've been kind of MIA for the past month, and that's because medical school has been so busy.

Just so you know, I've completed my first exam in medical school (which I actually did well on... WOO!), and we have started anatomy lab.

I feel like dissections are the first thing people ask you about when you say you're a first-year in medical school. "You're in medical school? Have you gotten your cadavers?" is probably the most heard line I've gotten from people I've talked to.

Just recently, we started the respiratory and circulatory system; we scooped out the lungs and heart from our cadavers and dissected the heart.

To show us exactly how the lungs function in the pleural cavity, however, one of our anatomy professors decided to give a physical demonstration. Never mind that the day before, another professor had shown us exactly what happens by attaching a vacuum to a fresh cow lung. This professor used the materials she had on hand: a rubber band, a 2-liter soda bottle, and ... wait for it... a condom.

Don't ask me why, but she made the condom the "lung" in the demo by attaching the top to the soda bottle and having the condom hang down into the bottle. She then proceeded to take a vacuum and draw out the air to show us the lung inflating. If that wasn't awkward enough, she proceeded to joke that a lung and a condom were similar because they both had ribs.

I suppose the demo was effective. I will never, from this day, forget how a lung works.

My First Day, aka How to Rescue a Dummy

Yup.

Folks, I am back at school and just finished my first day of orientation!

I had the normal apprehensions (would I make any friends? what if no one likes me? do I really want to be a doctor?), but things turned out alright. The 100+ students were sorted into academies, so meeting other people became a 40-person ordeal, rather than a 120-person disaster. I've always found it really awkward going up to people and introducing myself out of the blue, and it was even more awkward today, as many of the students already knew each other.

Thankfully, however, I was not a total hermit.

Other than the usual tours and introductions, our first day also consisted of Basic Life Support training. Enter Fei's fears about being a good doctor.

We watched a movie and then broke up into groups to practice our resuscitation skills on a family of dummies (daddy dummy, sister dummy, and infant dummy). Everyone got a chance to do chest compressions, open airways, and use the AED.

I am now certified to do CPR and the Heimlich maneuver, but the only thing I truly feel prepared to do is breathe down a dummy's throat and then count to 30. For 2 minutes. 

Oh, and smack a baby really, really hard on the back.

Perhaps I would be able to perform these procedures on a human. But only if your sternum clicks every time I push your chest down, and only if your shoulder lights up to tell me that I am indeed pushing down hard enough to elevate your blood pressure (100 pounds of pressure is hard work!).

Anyone need CPR?

But in all seriousness, I wonder if this is the only type of practice we will ever get in medical school. Which raises the question: when are we actually going to have enough practice so that we are decent enough to see patients? Or do we practice what we learn on dummies on actual patients? 

Back to School

The end has finally come.

Thursday was my last day teaching, and I'm flying out tonight to go back to school. It's strange, but I'm nervous and calm at the same time -- since I have been living in the same place for the last four years, I know the area and the people, but the school experience is going to be very different.

So of course, here I am, procrastinating by blogging instead of packing like I should be doing.

Reflections can come later. As for now, I have a few more pieces of hilarity to share.


Sometimes, students get really out of it in math class. That's just inevitable.
SAT Math
Discussing a problem where the students have to find the probability of choosing a girl twice from a list of two girls and three boys.
Me: I have five children --
Student: (clearly just coming to consciousness after a daydream) Wait, really? What are their names?


While talking about a Venn Diagram that includes people who have had breakfast, lunch or both. 
Me: (clearly indicating the problem on the board) How many people had breakfast and lunch?
Student: (raises hand)

Only Two Weeks Left...

I only have two more weeks left of teaching, and in a way, I'm kind of glad. It's not that I don't enjoy teaching where I do. This summer has actually been a lot of learning about myself as well.

I've realized that I am definitely much more introverted than extroverted, and having to entertain the students hour after hour is really difficult and tiring for me. Also, I have high expectations and can easily be discouraged. For some strange reason, I thought every student would be a younger version of myself: the overachiever who went out of his or her way to do every single problem and then have questions for the teacher afterward. 

There are definitely a handful of these types of kids. But most of them are... well... normal kids. They view this class as a summer enrichment program, and they don't have to try super hard because it's not "real school." 

I really want them to do well, and I give them incentives, but for some of the kids who go to summer school for four hours before coming to this prep place, my class is just another hour where they have to sit in the classroom. 

But, as my boyfriend said, I can only do so much. The kids have to meet me half way. 

Any suggestions from past math teachers on what to do? 

For the rest of you, a few more funnies from essays: 

"It may be hard to come to terms with it, but human beings are terrible. We are selfish, arrogant, and ignorant of others. Not you, essay grader, you are just perfect." 

On the benefits of hard work: "It increases stamina and ability and lowers performance anxiety." 

Essay grader, in reply: "If you experience a dedication that lasts for more than four hours, please consult a physician." (Just kidding. But it was difficult to stop him.) 

Why proofreading is so important: "The occurrence of the Holocaust caused millions of deaths of innocent Jews whom do deserve what was done to them." 

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire: "However, Americans thought Lincoln was just a ugly man and failed a lot of elections before presidency. Lincoln was not thinking in that way, he needed self-esteem, and finally he became an egotist, which his impression to people is a vampire." 

On Jane Austen's struggle with being a female writer in the 19th century: "During her period, a female author was perceived as by others as 'mad.'" 

Essay grader: Hysterical! (Ba dum tsssst.) 

True Gems from the SAT Essay

According to my fellow teachers, I have been missing out. 

Out of the way, math class. It is actually when high school students are put in the high stress environment of writing an essay in 25 minutes that makes them say what they truly think. And the best part? There's evidence. While I do not envy the SAT Writing teachers their job of slogging through piles of essays every week, here are a few priceless moments that make it all worth it. 

Enjoy! 

Essay Gems: (all grammar and spelling mistakes are theirs) 

"As a high student, it is my responsibility to make the 'best' decisions." 

Uh huh. A "high" student that makes the "best" decisions. 

"Unlike Mozart, Beethoven only had 9 Symphonies." 

That lazy bum! Composer my foot! 

"Before stardom, the Beatles were another struggling high school band. They lacked quality, experience, and etiquette, all of which is dire to success." 

True stuff, man. They only succeeded after learning to drink tea with their pinkies in the air. 

Referencing Of Mice and Men: "Lennie needs George in order to survive because without him, he will go around petting things until he gets shot." 

...What? 

"There are seven billion people who are walking about on Earth. We have eyes, thumbs, and faces." 

My boyfriend believes that this line is actually genius and will become a famous first line in this kid's first novel. 

"I still remember the touch of my coach's sweaty palm guiding my arm as she taught me the correct stroke." 

Um, I'd say something, but I'm going to keep this blog PG. 

"Though this issue is subjective, those people are wrong." 

At least this kid took a stance. Isn't that what the SAT wants? 

I Am Old

Just after talking to one of my friends online about how old we were because we had graduated college, I had confirmation from my Geometry kids about my age.

After the kids began complaining about how much homework they get... 
Me: Guys, every piece of homework that you do, I do too.
Student 1: Yeah, but you're old.
Me: ... Thanks.
Student 1: (realizing what he said) I mean... you're older so this is easy for you.
Other students begin to laugh. 
Student 1: (inserts foot deeper in mouth) I mean, you are old compared to us.

Later, when the students were presenting on their mathematicians. One student did his project on Isaac Newton. 
Me: (Referring to my study abroad experience) Did you guys know I went to the same university as Newton?
Student 2: (Serious) You were in school at the same time?


(Luckily, later on, the SAT math class I was subbing assured me that I was very youthful looking).

I also wonder about the younger generation sometimes. This is why.

The students come back from break and are talking about Harry Potter.
Student: I hate Harry Potter.
Other students and me: What?!!
Student: Yeah, I was bored in the movies. Also, any time I read about Daniel Radcliffe, I turn the page. I do like Emma Watson, though.
Me: You know that the books are very different from the movies, right?
Student: I didn't read them.
Me: (joking) So what do you like? Twilight?
Student: (serious) Yes! I also like Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Me: (bangs head against wall)

Holiday = Magic Rub

Happy Belated July 4th, everyone!

I discovered something very interesting yesterday when I was teaching my classes. Like the weekends, holidays also act as Magic Rub erasers on students' minds. If you are a teacher, or perhaps a reflective student, you know that this is true.

For some reason, students that can easily distinguish between the equations of parabolas and ellipses on Friday have strokes of amnesia on either Saturday and Sunday. They then come back Monday with bewildered looks on their faces when you write a quadratic equation on the board.

The same thing occurred with my Algebra II class on Thursday. Normally, teaching on Tuesday and Thursday is pretty nice, because there is only one day in between, and students usually keep up with their work. Unfortunately, Wednesday, July 4th was very different.

I understand that the last thing you want to do on July 4th is study Geometry or Algebra, and believe me, I did not do much prepping on my part, either. I spent most of the day eating double bacon-wrapped hotdogs with the boyfriend and his family.

Yes, double bacon-wrapped hotdogs. No, I am not ashamed. Here is a recipe if any of you (those without heart-conditions only!) want to try it out yourselves:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/fully-loaded-bacon-wrapped-hot-dogs-recipe/index.html

You can even forgo the toothpicks. My boyfriend's sister said the key is to cook them slowly so the bacon doesn't get crispy and unravel. Also, wrap with two pieces of bacon instead of one. And none of that turkey bacon shizz. If you're going to clog your arteries, clog 'em right! That's how we do in Amurrrrca.


Alright, back to my original story. Clearly, I get way too excited about fatty foods. Perhaps I should have started a food blog instead...

Like I was saying, the last thing you want to do on July 4th is study. But seriously, guys, your parents are paying out the wazoo (sp?) here, and unlike a real math class, I don't have a full year to cover all of Algebra II or or all of Geometry. Yes, I already gave that lecture to my students.

Well, it is back to work now. Today should be interesting, as the mathematician's project I assigned my Geometry students is due. Hopefully no more "Ooclid"s.

Geometry and Medical School

Mondays tend to be my easiest days at work. I go in for office hours, teach one class, and go home (woohoo!).

Mondays are also the days I teach my Geometry class, which consists of a younger group of kids, most of whom will be going to 8th or 9th grade. This means that they have not yet been infected by the zombie disease that most high schoolers seem to get as soon as they step into a classroom.

Other than a few minor behavior issues (like getting them to raise their hands), the class is a lot of fun. Unfortunately, a younger age group also means less filtering.

Me: Hey guys, settle down. We really have to cover this material quickly because we only have eight weeks together, and I will not be here the last week.
Student 1: Why?
Me: I have to go to medical school. 
Student 1: THAT'S SO ASIAN!
Me: ...

A few minutes later, the students are still preoccupied with the idea of medical school.
Student 2: You should go into surgery.
Me: That's what I'm thinking of doing, actually!
Student 3: EWWW!!!
Me: What?
Student 3: Surgery is, like, when they, like, cut you open and stuff! I've watched documentaries. I know!


While assigning a mathematicians project. 
Student 4: Who's OO-clid?

... And hopefully more to come tomorrow from Algebra II and SAT Math.

I have a lot to learn about high school kids

A few stories from June:

SAT Math:
After telling my students that I was actually an English concentrator in college.
Student who is very concerned about her test score: Why did they hire you to teach math?
Me: (joking) It's because I'm Asian.
Student: (nodding seriously) Ohhhh.

The next day:
My students have progressed to asking my opinion about books they want to read. 
Student: What did you think about 50 Shades of Gray?
Me: (wondering why she would presume I've read the book) 


After instituting math quizzes every Tuesday:
Me: To motivate you to study, the person who scores the lowest on the quiz each week will have to do something embarrassing. (This is standard practice at the place I work, and it's all in good fun. Each kid usually ends up doing the embarrassing thing at least once.) For the first week, I will bring in a script from the Lord of the Rings and that person will have to act out a short scene as Gollum.
(Silence... then:) 
Student 1: What's Lord of the Rings?
Student 2: (Simultaneously) Who's Gollum?
Me: ... Nevermind.

A Brief Introduction

I am a recent college grad, in the summer before attending medical school. To pay the bills, I have taken a job as an SAT Math, Geometry, and Algebra II teacher at a local SAT prep class.


The setting of this place is pretty intense. Students come in for what is known as "SAT Bootcamp"; they come eight hours a day, four days a week, to prepare for what they (or their parents) think is the biggest test of their lives. 

Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's because they're high school students. Or maybe they just don't have enough brain juice left after the first two weeks. Anyway, they sometimes say the most ridiculous things.

This blog will be (at least for the next few weeks) a mix of my ramblings and "Kids Say the Darndest Things." (Hopefully, this will transition into a more well-developed, mature blog about medical school and other adult things at the beginning of August?)

We'll see.